Life Enhancement Fortnight

 

Your ears were pierced on Monday,

On Tuesday a tattoo

On Wednesday you had collagen

And then your lips turned blue

On Thursday breast enhancements

Now you can't see your feet

On Friday was a facelift to make the job complete

Liposuction - Saturday to drain you of some fat

But Sunday was a day of rest.

I say thank God for that.

Then Monday augmentation

Each buttock was augmented

When you walked to the station

Your bum looked quite demented.

It wobbled to the left

And the it slid out to the right.

Your ever shifting cleft

Was truly quite an ugly sight.

On Tuesday were the eyelids

Which give you quite a stare

You frightened all the shy kids

When you caught them unaware.

Laser treatment Wednesday

The wrinkles disappeared

A face like eggs that hens lay

Although your grew a beard

On Thursday rhinoplasty

To try and fix your nose

The look was harsh and nasty

It still works I suppose.

Dermal fillers Friday

Your face full of cement.

Complexion now is ash grey

Your lips are warped and bent.

On Saturday cremation

The whole thing made you ill

To the  wonder of the nation

Your body's burning still.