Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Doing very little
His youthful muscles atrophied
And his bones grew brittle
​
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eating lots of sweeties
Too much sugar made him fall
To type 2 diabetes
Mary, Mary looked quite scary
Covered in tattoos
Despite her being bright and keen
She failed at interviews
Tom, Tom the piper’s son
Was looking quite forsaken
He stole a pig. Now in the brig
For bringing home the bacon
Polly put the kettle on
For tea made from a bag
She lit her fifteenth cigarette
And took a hefty drag
Yellow fingers yellow teeth
Her breath smelt like a bin
Emphysema took a hold
Now she’s all bones and skin
The Queen of Hearts (who made the tarts)
Became humanitarian
By being nice and eating rice
She’s quite the vegetarian
She spurned the blackbirds in the pie
And Mary’s lamb rejected
But sometimes eats a sausage roll
When she can’t be detected
